Never Grope a Guest Speaker

Lunch during a writers conference is a special time. The authors, speakers, publishers and editors who taught the classes sit down and eat with you. As you enter the lunch room their tables are marked with their name tag. Lots of people rush in to sit by their person of choice- oddly reminiscent of Black Friday at Kohl's.

It's a great opportunity for writers to pitch their book ideas and network with others.

This year I wasn't charging the table for anyone. The creamy garlic penne pasta had my full attention. But, one of my friends somehow got a hold of me and excitedly told me we were all sitting over there, as she pointed to the table off in the distance.

As my friends came into view I saw the only vacant seat was right beside our guest speaker. Not my first choice. Now I'd have to cut my food into much smaller bites. This gifted man has written numerous novels. His work is well-known. He's kind of a big deal in the writing world.

As I sat down I could hear he was already asking everyone about what they were writing. By the time he got to me my mouth was full of cranberry-walnut spinach salad. I turned my face away so as not to shower Mr. Novel Writer with raspberry vinaigrette.

My tongue stumbled over an almond and I misspoke as I shared what I was writing. I chuckled and corrected myself. Being the touchy person I am, (my face still turned away chewing my elephantine mouthful of greens) I reached my left hand out to laugh and kindly touch his shoulder.

This is where the scene goes horribly wrong.


My hand missed his shoulder and landed on his thigh...under the table.


Have you ever had one of those moments? You know - when silently every microscopic molecule in your body is screaming?

Then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

The rest of lunch was a blur. I immediately stood up and did what any middle-aged godly woman would do. I ran to the dessert table and ate a plate of chocolate cheesecake brownies.

Mr. Bigtime Author was kind enough not to shame me. But, he kept his distance after that.


Did I tell you I am going to the Mount Hermon's Christian Writers conference in a few days? Pray for me. I hope to keep my hands to myself.


Originally posted February 2009

Blessed Guest - Editor, Tonya Stoneman

Today's Blessed Guest is Tonya Stoneman, editor of In Touch Magazine, author, wife, and mother of two. She is one of only a handful of editors I met at Mount Hermon, who I could see myself  hanging out with outside of our mountaintop retreat. Maybe it was her position I respected, or her brilliance with how she dissected an article or idea, or possibly, it was her sarcastic wit that captured my heart. Of course, it helped that she had a shiny lipstick red laptop like mine. 

Tonya has accomplished quite a lot in her young age. When I first met her, I liked her almost instantly. She is a no-nonsense gal who doesn't waste your time with a lot of fluff. I sat in her class, "How to create articles from chapters in your book." after receiving my first ugly rejection from an agent. Tear-stained cheeks, I slumped down in the back of her class and hoped no one would notice. (The only thing worse than a rejection from an agent is wearing cute shoes on a mountain. Cute is DUMB.)

After class, I decided to summon up the courage to meet and discuss some article ideas I had for her publication In Touch Magazine. Tonya's encouragement from our meeting that afternoon will stay with me for a long time.

Because there are editors out there like Tonya Stoneman, there are thought-provoking, faith-building,  God-honoring publications like In Touch Magazine. 

Would you please welcome my Blessed Guest Tonya Stoneman.


What do you love about being an editor?
I love helping other writers get published. I love teaching new writers and reading good manuscripts.


What don't you love about it?

I don’t like reading really bad manuscripts, and I hate writing rejection letters (that’s why my assistant does that—she hates it to. That’s why she sends out form letters). “Really bad” manuscripts are stories that preach way too much, have no point, or are just downright too weird to print.


What has surprised you the most about your job?

I’m surprised by how much managerial work I have to do. Sometimes I feel like a psychotherapist. I have to keep everyone motivated, happy, and in harmony with one another. That in itself is a full-time job.



When it comes to a new writer, what do you think is most important for them to know when submitting to your magazine/publishing house?

First, a writer should be familiar with our magazine. There’s no point in writing a terrific article that just won’t fit with our mag style/purpose. Second, DON’T sent first drafts. Avoid cathartic recitations of your personal journey—I’m looking for a well-tuned piece that fits the guidelines of our publication.



Are there any red flags an editor sees that will give a writer an immediate rejection?

A poorly written query letter tells me that the writer won’t deliver a publishable article.



Is there anything, in your opinion, that writers pay too much/too little attention to?

Not enough attention is paid to originality. There is SOOOO much overlap in the Christian market. I read 20 of the same queries over and over again. Everybody seems to arrive at the same conclusion. Many writers also fall into the trap of copying another person’s voice. This never works. Do the hard work of finding your own voice and developing it. In my opinion, that’s one of the best things you can do for yourself.



Do you have a favorite scripture?
The book of Ecclesiastes is my favorite.



What's your favorite flavored potato chip?

Salt and Vinegar, of course.


Favorite thing to do with your family?

Anything involving snow and a sled or a Nerf gun. Sand and waves are good, too!


What book is on your nightstand right now?

The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls.



Thanks for stopping by today Tonya and sharing a little bit of your life with all of us. I'm looking forward to seeing you at Mount Hermon in March.


(I'll bring my Nerf gun if you bring yours.)

Mount Hermon-Express

Registration for Mount Hermon $645.00

Cute shoes that have no redeeming qualities whatsoever $39.00

Selling my work to Today's Christian Woman and In Touch Magazines,

Priceless.