Friday, March 20, 2009

My Stalker-Walker Strikes Again!

When I get to Heaven I plan on asking God a few questions.

1. Why is it that after a workout, days later your body is in excruciating pain, yet you look no different?

If you feel different, shouldn't you look different?

2. I also want to know why God didn't create a food-credit plan. If I pass up a donut or a loaf of bread, wouldn't it have been nice of Him to let us bank the calories for later?

I should have known when I agreed to go and workout tonight, that I was going to pay for it later. My Stalker-Walker friend Gina has a screw loose. She really does. What person in their right mind smiles through a weight training class? Every time she would look over at me (hiding in the very back corner, by the huge fan, and behind the Jack Lalanne wanna-be) I would shoot her "I HATE YOU" looks, hoping to somehow use mind-power to knock her off her step-box thingamajig and wipe that ridiculous I-love-working-out smile off of her face.

You will be happy to know that half-way into our cardio class, I escaped. The instructor started jumping up in the air like a kangaroo, and my pathetic thimble sized mom-bladder was my excuse to flee. I have never had a strong desire to bounce a quarter off of my bum anyhow. I tried to hide from Gina upstairs, and hopped onto a treadmill to throw her off my scent. Thirty minutes on that contraption and I'd only burned calories equivalent to three grapes. She must have smelled my disgust, because she found me.

God, why did you give me a work-out crazy Stalker-Walker for a friend?

I guess some things we just won't know this side of Heaven.


Jaclyn said...

HAHAHA!!! I have a couple of friends like that. Have you ever tried a Zumba class? I just did, and I LOVED doesn't even feel like you're working out, but oh my goodness I have never been so sore in all my life! It was a fun class though...I think I laughed the entire time!

Jaclyn said...

Ok, I have finally "paid it forward" and passed along the Berry Sweet award!

Cheri said...

You crack me up.
I hate working out too and I totally agree that it would be oh so helpful to see immediate results!

CalvaryGirl said...

I like the idea of a food credit ;) It sounds like your stalker walker friend is a real blessing. I'm hoping to join the Y in the next couple of months, maybe I can meet a friend like that too :)

~*~ Wendy ~*~
Raising Foodies 3-19

Transaprent J said...

Let's start the food credit movement! I have had weeks of perfect eating and lots of exercise with NO weight loss. Very frustrating.

Here is something I wrote about my recent focus in weight loss... I hope you enjoy it.

By the way, when I was in this local "Biggest Loser" deal, we did spin class... I thought I was going to die.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

You are too funny, Joanne. I love your humor in this. Your "I HATE YOU" glare...your friend smiling during exercise. Come on, who does that?

momstheword said...

I am always glaring and muttering under my breath (and sometimes very loudly) at the people on my exercise dvds, but they don't care. They just keep saying "You're doing great," or "You look great!" What do they know...they can't see me.

Becky said...

I feel the same way! Food credits, food credits!!! My sister and I have been walking everyday and watching our diets for three weeks now...I've only lost two pounds and my sister zero. What's up with that? Love your humor! Hating the!

:) Becky

Elizabeth M Thompson said...

I'm going about this all wrong. I think I get exercise credits for working out and then I come home and eat cookies or ice cream and for some reason, my weight is not going down.

Jensmere said...

Great idea of the food credits! Wish we could get exercise credits for thinking about working out, or planning to workout! hahaha!

Bless you,

Journey Of Faith said...

This made me laugh!!! Thanks for sharing the post... it is really a blessing that you have such a dedicated 'stalker-walker'... :D So funny!!!!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I understand. Just got in from my run, with bum still in tact. Honestly, I should get more from such an obedience.

Happy Saturday!


Anonymous said...

oh, my! i totally understand! i went to a class yesterday morning at 5:30 that kicked my bum! i am really feeling it today, but of course, not seeing it! my arms are in such pain i can barely type!

Michele Williams said...

It's wonderful that you have someone to "stalker-walker" with! So funny!
I agree... If we pass up something why don't we get food credit? Sounds good to me! LOL...

Lighthouse Prayer Line said...

Hi Joanne,

Thanks for sharing that with us! Very cute!

Hey. If you get the opportunity, would you
mind praying for the prayer requests that are
on our main page?

May the Lord bless you and your family!!

Mark, Lynn, Brooke & Carley Seay

ps - please consider "following" our blog -or- atleast
grab one of our free, linking, blue buttons. (see top
sidebar at

English Cottage in Georgia said...

Wow!!! I thought I had a quirky way of thinking -very good questions! I have a feeling, when I see God, I will forget the things I was going to ask...sorta like Ralph sitting on Santa's lap in The Christmas Story. :-)

A Stone Gatherer said...

In the wise words of Beth Moore from our retreat a few weeks again - your stalker walker is your testy! She is there to help you grow!!!!

Angie said...

It's official...we are kin...and you are the funny one. Darn it all. I wanted to be the funny one. You were picked.

Love YOU!


Blog Widget by LinkWithin