Are you a Christian One-Upper?

So, can I just share with you a little pet peeve of mine? Since moving to Nashville this tiny irritation has been magnified.

One-upping each other.

What? You don't know what I'm talking about? Let me explain.

Okay, so we're new to the church here which means we're new to our small group who meets bi-monthly, and new to our adult Sunday school class, and I'm new to the women's Bible study each Thursday morning.

Being new means there's been loads of introductions. I couldn't begin to remember names if I tried. Manners in these parts are on steroids so when I say lots of introductions, I mean LOTS.

Here's how the average introduction goes:

Stranger: "Hey, I haven't met you. I'm Margory McButterpants."

Me: "So nice to meet you, Margory. I'm Joanne Kraft. We're new to the area."

Stranger: "You're new? Where are you from? You know, we've been attending church here for nine years now. I was here when the podium caught fire during the women's Christmas tea."

Me: "That's nice?"

No matter where we are, people in church feel the need to mark their holy territory by one-upping each other with how long they've been attending or how much better they know the pastor than you ever will.

As a matter of fact,when I speak at a women's conference, I can't begin to tell you how many women introduce themselves to me this way. They share their first name and then include some unholy snippet, like it's their last name.

"Hi, I'm Gloria...been going here for fifteen years."

One of these days I'm going to answer: "Nice to meet you Gloria Beengoinghereforfifteenyears, You wouldn't happen to be related to Sharon Mydaughterismarriedtothepastorsson? No? So sorry, I'm probably confusing you with Jean Mysonleadsworshiphere."