Thursday, December 6, 2007

SPECIAL DELIVERY


In my opinion, the U.S. Postal Service has overlooked what could possibly be a very profitable mode of mail delivery. I am surprised that our government would miss such a golden opportunity and such cash cow potential. After many inquiries, I have discovered that moms all accross America have frequently used this form of communication with their family. What am I talking about you ask…bathroom-mail of course.

I must admit, like the Loch Ness monster and Big Foot, I had heard rumors about a bathroom mailman when I had my first child. I had even been warned by many ‘expert mothers’ that not only would my alone-time in the bathroom become a distant memory…I would also experience bathroom-mail from time to time. So why was I so shocked when my first delivery was slipped under the door by a four year old little girl in 1995?

Since then my mail carriers have been both male and female, some cute and some not so cute (those would be my teenage mail carriers). I have had letters, homework, permission slips, report cards, birthday invitations and even notes of affection slipped under my bathroom door. I have begged, pleaded, cried and even screamed at them, “RETURN TO SENDER!” all to no avail.

From one experienced mom to any newbie moms out there, remember, your alone time in the bathroom is now a thing of the past. ’Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor the shrill screams of an exasperated mother can keep away bathroom-mail...Not now, not ever…

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing, how funny! (from someone who has never received brm). CB

Chelle' said...

Phenominal.

I have to say... we don't get that in our house. Why you ask? Because our house is equiped with crystal doornobs that take away all possibilities of LOCKING said door and therefore any need of BRM.

In our home, "postmen" of all ages, shapes, sizes, forms and genders proceed through said closed, but not locked door, with a plethra of needs. (Most untimely with more potential to be met were they to have been requested OUTSIDE of the bathroom)

In our home... these requests are not limited to the sink and or toilet portion of the bathroom... they easily extend to the shower where with one fail swoop of the curtain- all hopes of keeping the precious, pure, innocent eyes of my sons vanish for the sake of the, "Mom... Brenden ate my cookie and Kylee won't stop looking at me" comments.

Nice!

By the way- I'll take bathroom mail (and or shower mail) to the looming bedroom mail that I am hoping NEVER to have to endure and or EXPLAIN. (Those blased crystal doornobs)

Mari said...

This is so true - what surprises me is that we get used to it!
It does end though - I only have 1 child left at home and haven't had any bathroom mail for a while!

Fran said...

That is truly hillarious and completely true my friend!!

Ok...and the Siesta Fiesta is a Living Proof Live event in San Antonio next August....Our beloved Beth Moore wanted to have an event that would draw all of us together for a weekend....

If you go to her blog and go back a couple or three months you'll find the most hillarious post from her.....she also wanted to give us time to save money for ticket, plane tickets, hotels, etc. So...
I bought my LPL ticket...have a hotel room and will book my ticket next year sometime. Its not til August.

Check your calendar and come on!
It will be a siesta blast!! And, lots of tears of joy for meeting everyone that we talk to all the time.

Check it out...
much love,
Fran

Anonymous said...

I have to say you are hilarious.............. We don't have mail deliveries in the home yet. We just know when daddy steps into "that room" WE ALL TEND TO RUN!!!! FAST...

Luv,
JenBold

Aly said...

Joanne ~

Outrageously hilarious!!!! Why have I never heard of such a thing? My chidren still just burst-in through a closed door. In fact, just this morning I had to sign a homework log while brushing my teeth to an anxious child's tapping foot! GASP. And I thought I was multi-tasking! You will be the first person to know when I receive Bathroom Mail. :O)

God bless! Aly

Aly said...

Joanne ~

Outrageously hilarious!!!! Why have I never heard of such a thing? My chidren still just burst-in through a closed door. In fact, just this morning I had to sign a homework log while brushing my teeth to an anxious child's tapping foot! GASP. And I thought I was multi-tasking! You will be the first person to know when I receive Bathroom Mail. :O)

God bless! Aly

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