Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dial 911 - I've Hung an Ornament Impostor!

Dastardly Ornament Impostor!
“Hey Mom! Whose ornament is this?” Grace yelled from the other room.

Like every year before, we put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving and in less than twenty-four hours it had already fallen down. Lovely. Grace was busy trying to salvage the ornaments that crashed to the floor while we slept.

“Which one is it?” I yelled back from the kitchen.

“It’s an elephant and it says Baby’s 4th Christmas-1997!” She shouted.

Walking into the room where my daughter was gathering scattered ornaments, I leaned over her shoulder to look at the plastic elephant in her hand.

“Oh, that’s David’s ornament.” I smiled, remembering how excited I was when I found that one for him twelve years ago, hidden below boxes and doodads on the 75% off shelf. What a treasure I’ve found. I remembered thinking.

Grace wasn’t convinced. “Mom, when was David born?”

“I was born in August, 1994.” David answered, walking his five-foot-ten frame into the middle of our discussion.

Grace began to do the math. “But, Mom, this can’t be David’s ornament. He would have been three in 1997, not four in 1997.”

My trip down memory lane came to a tire-screeching halt.

She was right.

This ornament was all wrong.

For twelve Christmas’s I’ve been handing my excited little boy an ornament to proudly place on our Christmas tree that boasted of someone else’s age-not his.

Not only do I hang pictures of strange kids on my tree each year, I hang ornaments with wrong dates for my four real kids.

This plastic charlatan elephant has found his rightful place beside a Hispanic child with no name.

Dial 911. I'm turning my-counterfeit-Christmas-self in.


Mary Snyder said...

Girl, you are so very funny!!!

Elizabeth M Thompson said...

I did the math and you had it right the first time. David's first Christmas would have been in 1994, his second in 1995, his third in 1996 and his fourth in 1997. His first Christmas came before his first birthday (they all do if you think about it.) So don't banish the elephant from your Christmas tree.

I have to say you made me smile!

Mari said...

Wow - Elizabeth saved the day! I was about to say that you would have to find a support group somewhere, but I guess you're ok!

Joanne@ Blessed... said...

Whew! Thanks Beth!

Okay, then I'm not an awful mom?

...just horrible at math.

Mariel said...

hahaha! I love this...sounds like something I would do---going to check my boys' ornaments!! Glad Elizabeth brought some redemption!! woohoo!! :) display that cute elephant proudly!

Crown of Beauty said...

I love putting up the Christmas tree too with all its memorable ornaments.

The elephant is cute, and if it has been David's all those years, then it must continue to be his. It's an ornament with a story.

Thanks for visiting my blog... glad to reconnect with you again, Joanne.


Nana's Nuggets said...

Hi! Joanne, this is so cute! Don't even think of discarding that elephant! Not Now~ it will be forever a fun thought and a conversation piece! Have a great Monday:)

Susan said...

Math was never my strong subject either. Doesn't matter...your eloquent with a pen!

Letters rule and numbers drool!!!

Kristen @ said...

No, I think it is his :) He was three in 1997 but it was his fourth Christmas! :) 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, four Christmases :) You were right the first time :)

hip-chick said...

It's the thought that counts after all.

B His Girl said...

Ha! Megan is not supposed to check up on you! Can't get involved with the math debate...brain freeze. Don't elephants forget things? b

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Hysterical... why am I not surprised?

And by the way, I loved your comment at my blog yesterday. No worries. I am an adorable cancer patient... a fat one as well. I've gained at least 15 pounds, and I don't care at all.



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