Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Our First Time
Prayer has been on my mind lately...alot.
Maybe because my husband and I have been praying together more than we ever have before. The hardships of life have brought us to our knees. Financial difficulties, working in the world and raising children, have a way of bringing that posture upon Christians. Prayer has been what we have slowly begun to work at together. Paul and I didn't pray together for years. As a matter of fact, when Paul and I started going to church my darling husband wouldn't even sing the worship songs. He would just stand and sit at all the right times, but to me he looked like a statue. I thought I was bringing a real big dud to church with me.
But God leaves no life unchanged. Ten years later, my beloved statue is now a godly husband and father...who enjoys singing all of the worship songs at church. God gave us new beginnings and lots of new firsts.
You never forget your "first times."
The first time I remember praying with my husband was after my mother died. Moments after getting the life changing call from my sister, we were in the car driving to meet with the family, to see mom one last time before she would be taken out of her house. For the first time my mom wouldn't be alive when I drove up to my childhood home and when I walked in the front door, screen slamming behind me, for the first time she wouldn't greet me. It was on that drive to see her that Paul prayed with me, for the very first time. I will never forget that.
I didn't grow up around parents who prayed together. Although, I am sure they had their moments when they prayed separately, but I would have probably fallen off of my chair if I'd seen my mother and father, heads bowed, holding hands or even kneeling and praying together.
My children will not be able to say the same about their father and I.
We pray together as a family each morning when we have our family devotions. Our children have seen their parents pray both together and separately. Just this week, Paul and I were in his office praying before he went out for a potential job interview. Our son David happened to walk in as we were standing together, holding hands and praying before Paul left. My prayer closet has been barged into on quite a few occasions. My children find me most often at the side of my bed, facing out of our picture window. I love that spot because when I look out I can see trees and birds and the awesome majesty of the sky and mountains when I kneel in prayer.
Prayer is so very powerful. But like any part of our maturing Christian walk, it is a process. First times are often uncomfortable and don't feel quite normal. But once you repeat the process over and over and over again, the uncomfortable suddenly becomes comfortable. Those first time baby steps of prayer are the beginning of a strong and independant walk with the Lord that will take you as far as you want to go.
"When you draw near to God, He will draw near to you." James 4:8
I have lived long enough to see God's miraculous hand move after the heartfelt prayers of this mother's hurting heart. Prayer has been the salve that helped heal the burns of the fiery trials of my life. Prayer has been the peace giver that calmed my nerves after many a difficult day and prayer has been the life preserver that I have thrown in the direction of many a drowning friend who needed supernatural rescue. When I take time now to pray with my husband, it is with a hopeful expectation that God in all of His infinite wisdom and amazing glory, is setting aside time just for us. It is comfortable now when Paul and I pray together.
But I will always remember our first time.